This one's for Kathy

I have been really busy for a few days and didn't make time to post an entry. Also, I got a little discouraged when I tried to put a clip on my page and couldn't figure out how. It was the sweetest clip. It was of Izabell in the bathtub (no private parts showing of course) singing "I have a friend who loves me" at the top of her lungs. For those who do not know that song, it came from VBS and it is so cute. Especially the Spanish lyrics that never are the same when sung by a two year old.
But something did happen to me yesterday that gave me something to write about. On the way back home from an amazing service at church, I ran a 4-way stop sign. Not because I wasn't paying attention, but because the brakes in my husband's van decided not to work. He told me when I left that the brakes would not work if I didn't prepare to stop long ahead of time. The brakes are worn out and the van is loaded with band equipment, so it is pulling quite a bit of weight that needs extra effort to stop. So, as I put on the brakes, ( a little ahead of time) the van continues to go through the 4-way. The car that had the right-of-way was honking and making some not so happy faces at me. But it wasn't exactly what you would consider a close call. They were far enough away that they didn't even have to slow down much.
I learned two things from this incident. First, you don't need to get mad at someone when you don't have all of the facts. Sure it looked as though I was being inconsiderate and dangerous, but in reality, I was scared to death because I had lost control. Second, I was reminded how much I do not like losing control of a situation. I haven't had that feeling in a long time. While I do realize that God is, in fact, always in control, I still have control issues. I am sure that a lot of us do. Don't try to deny it. We may all have different varieties and severities of this disease, but we all have it. I will say though, that as my relationship with the Lord grows, my control issues dwindle little by little. I am sure that they will not totally vanish anytime soon, but I have time to work on it. Maybe. As I was reminded in church yesterday, any second could be my last. But that's okay, because I am ready.

Had a bad day again.

There was a song that I used to listen to all of the time before I became a christian and started to listen to more positive music. It seemed to always fit my mood and describe my day. "Spilled her coffee, broke a shoe lace, smeared the lipstick on her face, slammed the door and said I'm sorry. Had a bad day again." These are some of the lyrics from the song as best as I can remember them.

Cool thing is, I had a bad day again. I was grouchy, had a headache, and my daughter decided that, even though she has been doing so good at potty training, she would pee on every surface in my house. Not one time, did she go in the potty today. I know she does it out of mischief because that's the only explanation I can come up with that makes any sense. So then I feel bad for being such a grouch, and I am not only grouchy with a headache, but now I feel guilty.

But guess what! I went to bed a little while ago and couldn't sleep because I got so busy thanking God for all of the blessings in my life that I actually got in a good mood. Can you believe that? Nothing special happened. Nothing miraculously went right. I just started being thankful and my attitude changed and now I'm the happiest girl in the whole USA. Okay, now I know I'm in a good mood because that is the second song title that I have quoted in one journal entry.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that if your day is sucking, just change your attitude. God will help you.

Green Eggs and Ham

Yesterday a friend of mine road her mower to my house and helped me mow my lawn. She knew that ours was out of order, and that my husband had been too busy lately to fix it. She also knew how much it stresses him out that the lawn was grown up. So she risked looking like a fool and drove it through town to my house with the gas can riding with her. (of course, in Scranton, it wasn't that out of the ordinary) She also gave up sitting inside in the air conditioning doing things that she wanted to do. She also had to go through the trouble of getting the elderly lady that she takes care of up and down my steps so that she could stay in my house while we did the yard.
Now that's service. I love having friends that will do that, not for me, but for my husband.
In the end we had a mowed yard, we were hot and tired, and I was dehydrated. That's all I can figure because I have been sick, sick, sick every since I came inside yesterday.
Oh, and I forgot, we started out the day by eating green eggs and ham that this same friend brought us. The egg shells were a sort of green tint, and my girls were disappointed to see that the insides were the same as any other egg, so I put in a drop of food color and we really did have green eggs.

The point of all of this is to let everyone know that I am blessed. I have so much that I never dreamed I would have, and on top of it all, I have a friend that really knows how to be a friend.

Ezekiel 33:9 If you warn the wicked to turn from his sin, and he does not turn from his sin, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.

This was the memory verse for the lesson that we taught in our LCBS class last week. We talked about our awesome responsibility to warn others of the consequence of dying without knowing Jesus. I challenged my students to think about a time when they were faced with the opportunity to do this. Did they rise up to the challenge, or were they frightened into retreat? I can tell you that, most of the time, I am frightened.

Well, God has used this lesson to convict me to share the bad news with someone who is very, very important to me. For the sake of privacy, I will not share with you who this person is. Just know that I literally would not be alive if it were not for this person. Now, should I keep quiet? I have shown this person the great things that God has done in my life since I chose to turn my life over to Him. I have lived by example in hopes to make this person want what I have. All that I have failed to do is to be blunt and tell him what his future holds if he does not make the decision to do as I have done and surrender.

But how? It could jeopardize my relationship with him. And believe me, I do not want to do that because it took us many, many years to build the relationship- one that should have come naturally. But my relationship with him on earth means nothing if we are separated for eternity.

There is a song by Casting Crowns called "Here I Go Again."
Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You....
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mulling over things that wont live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that You love him
But here I go again

I sing this song in my car often. And now I sing it as my prayer to God that He will give me the words to say and the boldness to say them.
Wish me luck.

oh, jealousy

Jealousy is an evil, sneaky thing. I have dealt with it all of my life and thought that I was past it. I guess I never will be totally past it. But I keep trying.
I am so happy for all of my friends who attended IWI, but I have had to remind myself continuously over the few days that they were gone that I was were I needed to be- with my family. Still, I couldn't help wanting to be there. I checked Mark's blog several times a day, craving to be a part of what was going on. I love to praise the Lord through music.
That's another area of jealousy. I want to sing better, play an instrument, write music. I want to express my love and thankfulness to God through music, but I am limited on what I can do. I have to remind myself that I have the talents and gifts that God gave me, and He knew what He was doing when He gave them to me. Thank You, God.
So, I think I'm over it now that my friends are home. But I can't wait for them to share what they have experienced and learned.
To everyone who went to IWI, please share with me. I will be waiting to soak it all in.
Love you all.

Okay, Julie, here it is. Is this the sweet little angel that you fell in love with? It looks like she's praying in this picture. Actually, she is. She's praying that I don't beat her for playing in the water fountain. We had major fights over that water fountain each and every day of VBS.
Seriously, VBS was great and I thank you for loving on her. I know that she is a handful, but I am more than blessed to have her. She was made just for me. Before she came along, I didn't know if I could ever love anyone the way I loved my sister. I helped raise her and I always had more of a motherly love for her than a sisterly love. But God gave me a little girl that is the spittin image of her Aunt Chelsea. She is beautiful, funny, loud, loving, and defiant. Just like Aunt Chelsea.
I watch her sing and dance to the VBS songs and I pray that she will choose to follow Jesus as she grows. When you ask her "Who loves you?", she always answers, "JESUS". I hope that she never forgets that.

Cook-off

Gas or Charcoal? Chicken Challenge. I am pretty sure my husband watches too much Iron Chef.
Anyway, I had to go for gas this time. Only because my favorite pieces were cooked on the gas grill. But if we were cooking hamburgers or hot dogs, it would have definately been a victory for the charcoal.
And in case you're wondering, my husband is the one dressed like Farmer Brown.

Time

I woke up this morning and wondered why my husband was not at work. Then I remembered it was Saturday. I have had very little concept of time since I have been off of work. And guess what, I am loving it. I imagine that in Heaven it will be the same. There are so many pressures in life that come from deadlines. I must be at work by 8:00, have the kids on the playground by 10:00, have my classroom cleaned and all of my plans for the next day by 4:00, pick up my child at daycare by 4:30, have supper done by 6:00. These are only a few of the many deadlines in my normal daily life, and everyone has their own. But think about life with no time. Would it be less stressful? Would we ever get anything done? I don't know but I am enjoying it for the short time that I get to experience it.